In the way back years of 2007-2011, I was a film revisor at a company in Vancouver BC called Technicolor Cinema Distribution and during my tenure there, this admittedly absurd and right-to-the-fucking-point titled flick came through my revising workspace, mildly intriguing me with it’s hefty marketing campaign and why-the-hell-not premise.
While I didn’t end up seeing it in the theatre, I did catch it when it first hit DVD. Once. What I remember, I remembered enjoying when I saw it that one time. But…I admittedly didn’t remember much. Like a blip on a radar screen, this movie came…and went. Now, it’s been at least a dozen years since I’ve seen it, so on a stormy night in my new palace-on-wheels, I decided that it was time to give this one a second shot, to see if the years have been kind to this big-budget box office bomb.
Cowboys and Aliens, based on a graphic novel of the same name, opens in the sand-and-scrub landscape of the American Old West, Arizona circa 1873. We meet a wounded and amnesiac fellow, who we’ll later learn is named ‘Jake’ (Daniel Craig), bearing what appears to be a strange metal cuff and seemingly abandoned, left for dead, out in the desert.
After a violent run-in with some passing low-lives, he makes his way to the nearest town, where he quickly finds himself running afoul of the local ‘boss’, former army officer ‘Dolarhyde’ (Harrison Ford), after a nut-crunching run-in with ’Dolarhyde’s dumbass bully of a son, ‘Percy’ (Paul Dano). Then, as the spoiler-of-a-title spills…a group of vicious creatures from the stars blast onto the scene…and everything goes sideways.
This fantastical yarn features a stacked cast, with the likes of Clancy Brown (Highlander), Sam Rockwell (Galaxy Quest), Adam Beach (Windtalkers), Olivia Wilde (Tron:Legacy), Keith Carradine (The Duellists) and several other familiar faces turning up to play dress-up; literally expensive ‘cowboys and Indians’.
So, on the aforementioned stormy night, I whipped up a large vodka-soda, puffed back half a ‘J’, and grabbed my pen and paper.
*selects Extended Cut*
*Hits PLAY*
The following scribbles ensued…
-I dig the western trappings. I always love me a western that gives us ample servings of blood, sweat and grime, coupled with a lived-in, roughshod aesthetic and this is what director Jon Favreau (Iron Man) delivers. More than once, I was reminded of one of my personal favorites, 1988’s Young Guns. “Regulators!”
-A bit brutal. But…extended cut? I have not looked to see what the differences are between the two cuts, but I didn’t remember the opening action scene being as brutal as this one is.
-Good score. Western fusion. Harry Gregson-Williams, as usual, steps up to plate and delivers a rousing score that nicely melds traditional ‘period’ sounds with a modern, propulsive tempo and tone. I liked it.
-And the dog goes with him too. Cool. After finding himself splayed out in the desert, ‘Jake’ is forced to defend himself from three bounty hunting assholes, who happen to have a cute dog with them. Once the trio of dirty miscreants abruptly take the Dirt Nap Challenge, ‘Jake’ scavenges what he needs and rides off, with the now-orphaned pooch in tow.
-Of course. Spielberg. Well, no real surprise there, seeing this name in the credits, as this does feel like something fantastical ‘The Beard’ would put his name behind, similar to his producing efforts in the 80’s, even if he wasn’t directing, as with Poltergeist (1982), Gremlins (1984) and The Goonies (1985). There’s an ‘Amblin Entertainment’ feel behind this premise.
-If nothing else…this movie looks good. That. Right there.
-Carradine! While most people would associate Keith Carradine with the Dexter series, I’ll always remember him from Ridley Scott’s first feature-length film, the exceptionally well-done 1977 entry, The Duellists. Great film, BTW. You can clearly see Scott’s deft hand behind the camera, even 48 years later.
But, back to Favreau’s flick!
-Now THAT’s BBQ! A group of cows is called a herd. A group of cows abruptly set upon and insta-roasted via alien energy weapons…is still called a herd.
-I’m reminded of From Dusk Till Dawn. One of the best cinematic examples of a ‘hard right’ in tone is the Robert Rodriguez / Quentin Tarantino 1996 hardcore crime spree / hilariously gory vampire romp From Dusk Till Dawn, where the abrupt narrative shift comes out of nowhere, completely altering the ‘expected’ trajectory. This is very similar, in that regard.
-Olivia Wilde is rather pleasant to gaze upon. Just sayin. Hotties gonna hot! What can I say.
-Solid bar fight. There is a bar fight in this motion picture that is solid. Also fast and inventive. I’d even go so far as to say…it was a fun bar fight to watch. Well done, Favreau and Co..
-Paul Dano excels at creepy fuckers. I’ve only recently come across this dude, but every time, the role is that of some highly punchable / killable maniac son-of-a-bitch, with Prisoners (2013) and The Batman (2022) instantly leaping to mind. And here he goes again!
-Harrison does ‘bad guy’ well. Harrison Ford is truly one of my movie star idols, and has been for at least 42 of my 48 years on this ball of mud. Naturally, it’s super easy to equate the pilot / carpenter / former weed dealer / massive movie star with The Good Guy, with the legendary Han Solo and Indiana Jones characters firmly and deservedly entrenched on his highly accomplished resume’. But from time to time, Ford has subverted expectation and capably breathed life into some rather…disreputable… characters, like his ‘Dr. Norman Spencer’ in What Lies Beneath (2000), ‘Martin Stett’ in The Conversation (1974), or even his chillingly excellent portrayal of ‘Allie Fox’ in the criminally underseen The Mosquito Coast (1986). Here, he sinks his teeth into this asshole of a ‘big boss’ character, basically a western Mafia don with military decorations, and looks like he’s having a good time doing it, in that charmingly gruff ‘Harrison Ford’ – kinda way.
-And then…aliens! I know there’s NO WAY you saw THIS coming…but there’s fucking aliens in this movie! And cowboys! Cowboys and aliens! Oh, Hollywood…you got me again!
-Big money. First major alien attack. In all fairness, Jon Favreau’s sure hand in large scale action scenes shines through in the first large scale set piece, where strange alien marauders drop out of the night and lay waste to pretty much everything, with some pleasantly surprising alien-on-human bloodshed showing up.
-James Bond and Indy. Hell yea! There you have it. Geek milestone!
-Harrison Ford is fucking awesome. Again…just sayin. Just a quick follow-up on my previous endorsement of Harrison muthafuckin Ford!
-Cool set. Upside down river boat. The idea of this, out in the desert, was just cool.
-Aw man…OF COURSE the poor pooch gets popped! During the attack, the dog rips off to attack…something…in the darkened chaos. There’s the sounds of an attack, an alien roar, a sharp yipe and…nothing.
-The aliens DO look freaky. They’re a good design, just freaky and mean enough to seem threatening.
-Ah, Clancy. See ya. “Better to burn out…than to fade away.” – ‘The Kurgan’, 1986
-Act Two DOES seem to meander. And here’s where the issues started showing themselves. Now, I’m totally open to ‘that’s what I get for the Extended Cut’, all the fat left on. But half way into Act Two, the narrative began feeling vague and unfocused, merely a series of events, not organically connected with a set goal in mind. Too many side-plots start emerging.
-Walton Goggins. Of course. Goggins (Fallout) is an entertaining and talented actor who’s really starting to come into his own as a top rated ‘character’ actor, but it was back in those whimsical 2010’s that he started becoming a familiar face. He turns up here for a short while as a goon, naturally.
-Tone confused. Native prisoner scene. Given the gravity of what’s at stake with the main story-line, it felt ‘off’ to be yarded away into some side-quest story involving a local native tribe and the shenanigans that unfold with them.
-Native subplot distracting. There. I said it.
-Wait! The dog’s alive?! Yea…exactly. When it comes to Man’s Best Friend…don’t fuck with me or my emotions. John Wick had it right.
-Some decently gory kills. Something else I suspect is an Extended Cut thing, as it was getting close to ‘R’ rated territory…which is always sweet!
-Why are these supposedly advanced alien creatures using internal combustion engines? These are some polluting-ass alien punks…flying around, trailing big-ass trails of ugly dark smoke. Yet…they come from space, mostly likely by some form of advanced faster-than-light tech, I’d reckon…yet here, you’d swear these Greenpeace-hating alien bastards were burning coal like it was going out of style in their weird, insect-inspired attack craft they’re all zipping around in, like the assholes they are.
-There’s DEFINITELY meandering afoot. Some yawn-inducing plot threads kept tapping the brakes on the pace and focus, dragging shit out.
-There’s cheese in this ending. Really, this is not big shock, and given the overall ‘comic book’ feel and premise, some on-the-nose schlock is allowed.
-Not awful…but the bomb makes sense. This is a fine movie to have on in the background or while chilling on a boring rainy afternoon. But…there are definitely problems; plot elements and pacing that apparently turned crowds and critics off back in the early days of it’s release.
And there it was, after nearly 15 years – a revisit to 2011’s ill-fated big-budget summer tent-pole wannabe that just didn’t stick the landing, regardless of the names associated with and the overall effort that clearly went into much of this escapist endeavor.
All in all, that residual impression of ‘Meh’, from that first viewing all them years back, was not seriously dislodged today. If anything, time and wisdom enabled me to more closely recognize where this ambitious attempt at an adaptation fell short, bogged down under its own meandering weight. Cowboys and Aliens starts off great and with a lot of potential; cool atmosphere and characters, gritty world-building and some surprising violence, both between humans and the alien attackers, coupled with a compelling mystery and some inventive production designs. But once the story puts the characters onto their main quest, the pace slips and the focus becomes muddled, with the movie seemingly forgetting what it wants to be as a whole. Harrison Ford’s turn as a villainous type is a stand-out that does help the argument to recommend this largely hollow and unfocused genre mash-up, but really, you can take Cowboys and Aliens…or you can leave it. As already alluded to, it’s a harmless popcorn flick that might keep you entertained, or at least semi-awake, for it’s one-minute-short-of-two hours run-time, should you find cause to toss it on.
It’s…fine, I guess.
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