Contraband (2012)

This ‘caper’ left me feeling strangely dissatisfied…and not sure of the ‘smarts’ behind what I saw. Marky Mark leads this not-so-thrilling ‘thriller’, playing another version of…well…Mark Wahlberg as he phones in the role of the former master smuggler; dragged back into the sordid life by his unfortunate, dumbass brother-in-law. As Wahlberg and Co. put their […]

Black Water (2007)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner! In continuing the ‘man-eating crocodilian Movies of 2007’ marathon, I checked out this little known but harrowing Aussie survival story. And it easily succeeds where the previous two flicks reviewed fail. The story is relatively simple: 3 family members, on a roadtrip, head out into a mangrove estuary […]

Primeval (2007)

Ok…so considering that genre films often get spit out in competing pairs, I decided to check out the OTHER man-eating crocodile thriller of 2007. Kinda wish I hadn’t. Pretty much everything about this ‘based on true events’ flick sucks. It’s stupid in nearly every way. It follows a lug-headed journalist and his team (token comic-relief […]

Rogue (2007)

I fired this one up fully expecting a cheezy and unpleasantly gory horror flick. That’s not what I got. Instead, this one proved to be an effective ‘man vs nature’ adventure movie. All the trappings of a horror were in place, but weren’t exploited to that end. A mixed group of tourists on a Australian […]

The Warriors: Directors Cut (1979)

Being a fan of the films of Walter Hill, I’m a little ashamed that it’s taken me this long to get around to this Grindhouse-style ‘classic’. Taking place ‘somewhere in the future’ (that looks suspiciously like the late 70s), this comic book-like story focuses on a garishly-attired gang framed for the assassination of a progressive […]

The Last King of Scotland (2006)

This film is an interesting mishmash of genres, told with a slick pace and a drastically evolving tone. It follows a privileged, optimistically naive Sottish doctor, fleshed out by James MacAvoy (Wanted), opting to escape the mundane trappings of life by swimming around in the toilet bowl that was Uganda in the 1970s. While working […]

The Reef (2010)

Holy…shit. This flick is basically the cinematic embodiment of one of my nightmares. To be stranded IN the open ocean, after a boating accident…while being stalked by a FUCKING GREAT WHITE SHARK! This lower budget Aussie thriller centers on exactly that scenario as a group of friends transport a sailboat from Australia to…somewhere. Along the […]

High Road to China (1983)

Oh, Tom Selleck…so NEARLY Indiana Jones. It’s weird to think that Selleck was Spielbergs first choice for the iconic role of the globe-trotting archeologist. Harrison Ford (the one TRUE Indy!) was a mere runner-up. If it hadn’t been for Magnum P.I., Indiana Jones would’ve been a lot different. But not necessarily bad, as this Indy […]

Melancholia (2011)

O…k. This was admittedly one of the stranger sci-fi films I’ve seen in a while… and I’ve seen my share. I like to think that I know a little about a lot when it comes to movies, but I’m NEARLY ashamed to say that the work of Lars Von Trier has been passed over…till now. […]

The Darkest Hour (2011)

Ok, no bullshit…I actually ‘face palmed’ 3 times as I let this piece of ‘spew’ rape my mind. This flick is a cheap, lazy comic book drowning in its own amateurish cheese. (Sighs heavily) Where do I begin? It starts off promisingly, with cool ‘score’ over an interesting credit sequence. I was hopeful. Then the […]